Thursday, October 7, 2010

Learning

Things I've learned about marriage thus far:

#1 Giving your husband the silent treatment for playing XBOX instead of paying attention to you is considered a reward, not punishment.

#2 Men always need a bigger television than the neighbors.

#3 Don't hide the title to the new car.

#4 Keeping your husband's underwear folded in an orderly manner is a battle you will lose.

#5 Don't drop XBOX controllers when they're vibrating.

#6 Asking your husband to pick up some toilet paper on his way home from work will only result in him bringing home ten boxes of cereal and no toilet paper.

#7 Men eat A LOT.

#8 Don't let your husband eat Wendy's spicy chicken nuggets before bed. You will be the one suffering, not him.

#9 Men do not know the difference between laundry detergent and fabric softener.

#10 Do not come between a hungry man and his pizza rolls.

#11 Cuddling and watching a movie works. Cuddling and playing Halo does not work.

#12 Dropping your tube of toothpaste in the toilet means that it is no longer usable.

#13 Showering together may save time and water, but one of you will always be freezing.

#14 Don't hug your husband from behind when he is casting his line into the river. You will either A) cause him to fall in B) get a hook stuck on your butt or C) both.

#15 Always use the bathroom before your husband gets home from work.


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