Friday, February 10, 2012

Guest Post - Motherhood On Me by Tara

Meet Tara:

and Ellis:
(aren't his facial expressions to die for?)

I've asked Tara and a few of my other mommy friends to send me their thoughts and advice on motherhood. Tara lives in Des Moines, Iowa and is the mother of the sweetest little red head I've ever laid eyes on. Like me, she is a native Texan and convert to the LDS church. You can read more from Tara and Ellis here.

Motherhood on me is:

Waking up on somebody else's schedule, which usually means between 6 and 7 a.m., on a good day... after over a decade of waking up when I pleased - somewhere closer to noon.

The incredible high from a smile full of round pearls thrown your way when you do the Hot Dog Dance.

Teething days. They can't be described. Imagine being pecked to death by an ornery chicken. Make that a rooster, because he is making loud noises that pierce straight into your eardrums.

Putting away all the q-tips that are scattered all over my bedroom every single night, just for him to pull them out, one by one, the next morning. Sighing as you put them away, smiling as he throws them all over kingdom-come.

Becoming addicted to watching him sleep. Sharing ice cream with him. Dumping cups of rice on the floor because he loves running his hands through it so much...
When they first lifted Ellis into my arms, all squiggly and warm and not so much crying, I had no idea what to expect. I had no idea what kind of mother I'd be, what to expect from him or myself. I knew what I wanted to be, that perfect mom- the one who bakes with him, thinks of creative activities each day, keeps the TV away from his precious developing brain, never gets tired of spending all day, every day with him... I wanted every perfect thing for that little redhead, and I wanted to be the one to give him it all.

Now, a year into motherhood (that is still so strange to me), I have let go of just about all of those high expectations, and have learned to be proud of the little things. Because being a mom is hard, exhausting, everything. But it is incredible. And when I remember to enjoy what I have with him, to make little things count- letting him linger in baths he loves so much, not freaking when he throws every morsel of food on the ground, teaching him a new funny face or gesture- it makes motherhood exponentially more wonderful. I have learned that there is no perfection in motherhood, but that boy of mine, he is so perfect to me. And Heavenly Father is on my side, wanting me to succeed in this. He is the greatest strength I have, guiding me through the mundane, the difficult, the heart-warming. I've never felt closer to God than I have taking care of an infant- the love and anxiety, are overpowering, humbling, too much sometimes. And I've learned that giving him all of my love is the thing he most needs, and is easiest for me to give- the love, I tell you, it's indescribable. This whole experience has made me a better person (most days!).

And when all else fails, there's a Sonic right down the street...

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