letters to baby

Dear sweet baby,


I only thought I knew emotional pain before colic. Then I became a mother who has to helplessly watch her child in pain. This is worse than any heartbreak, any death, any estrangement. Hearing you cry in anguish rips through a part of my heart whose existence I was not aware of until you came into my world. My poor, sweet baby. I want to remove all pain and discomfort from your tiny body and place it on myself, a hundredfold if I must, if only to comfort you. The back aches, the discomfort, the lack of sleep... all of these things are minor to me now. My every thought is for your happiness and well-being. I look back on my teenage years and wonder how, how could one human being ever act so selfishly? These juxtaposing sides of myself continue to baffle me as I grow as a mother. I have you to thank, sweet baby Lily, for making me a mother and washing the mud from my blind, selfish eyes. 


Love,
your mother