I feel so honored that I've been asked to share my thoughts on motherhood because so many days I feel like a less than perfect mother. As women in a post feminism world we have all these expectations and demands placed upon us. We then turn around and place even more on our shoulders as we read parenting books and what is the “good” and “bad” way to parent. I've learned that parenting really is a balance of faith in God, intuition, and knowledge from all that reading.
When I was eight months pregnant with my first child I went to see the new Star Trek movie in theaters. If you've seen it you can understand why I absolutely bawled through the first ten minutes. I was on the precipice of the scariest undertaking of my life, and was watching another woman do the same, while simultaneously losing her husband. My birthing experience was definitely not that dramatic. But when my first son was born I was filled with an overwhelming burst of love for this beautiful not so little creature (He was 9lbs 2 oz). And within minutes of his birth we were naming him. My second was a little different. He came three weeks early. We weren't really prepared to meet him yet. I was more concerned that he was really alright than if he had a name. It took us a little longer to figure him out. But my love for him is just as strong.
Becoming a mother has taught me more about myself and my capabilities and strengths than I ever could have imagined. It has challenged me and made me grow, and I am a better person for it. I have learned more about how God must feel towards us as His children as I have learned to care for my own. I have watched and rejoiced with them as they have triumphed over challenges, and as they have hit major milestones. And as they have refused to do what I know is best for them I can see how God sometimes feels sad when we don't follow what He asks of us.
My days are filled with feedings, diapers, laundry and dishes. But they are also filled with blanket forts, toy trains, books and walks to the park. When my firstborn was a baby I made a challenge to myself to make him laugh everyday. There are still somedays that that seems impossible, but most days are filled with laughter and smiles, and bringing out my silly side. Children are such a wonderful blessing, and they make it possible to see the wonder of the world again.